Midnight Philosophy

Dear you,

I write novels in my head at night, under the cloak of a midnight darkness that pushes me to believe I'd be better suited to a philosophy major.  I wonder whether I'd be happier barefoot on an island somewhere, or whether this fast paced city life is where I'm meant to be.  I wonder where I'll be ten years from now; and if where I grew up will make any difference, or if it was all always leading to the same place.

I wonder if this is where I'll meet you, and if you'd be someone different if I were that barefoot girl on an island somewhere.  Would fate have still brought us together somehow, or would you be a barefoot boy on that same island?

But by the next day, the hazy early morning light has erased the words I meant to write down - another midnight letter to a "you" I'm not sure I'll ever meet.

<3

When We Bake Together

Dear you,

It's strange, the things that make me think of you....
like icing on a cupcake that I don't even eat.

One day, when I meet you, will we bake together?  The two of us cramped into a small apartment, flour caked on both of our hands as we move around each other the way only two people in love can maneuver in a small room?  Will you put your arms around me as I turn to kiss you, my hands still playing in the bowl of dough?  I imagine that for a moment, it'll all feel perfect - your lips on mine, my hands squished into raw eggs and brown sugar, yours on my hips.  The sun shining in through the window above our sink will land on our faces, slanting in a way that a photographer would love.

And as you pull away, I'll find two hand prints on my hips - proof that the moment wasn't a dream after all.

<3
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In the Heat of the Morning

Dear you

It's late....already, technically, tomorrow.  But I can't sleep in this strange (and most likely fleeting) late spring heat.

By next week, the temperature will have dropped back down into the 40s, and I'll be wishing for this heat.  But for now, I'm wishing for an air conditioner and for you - whoever you are.

One day, when we meet, will we make up for lost time - lying in the heat of a late-May early-morning, wishing for air but knowing we'd prefer this a thousand times over to the cold?

<3

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Kiss Me

Dear you

What do you think our first kiss will be like?  Will you step towards me, quickly and out of nowhere, and kiss me suddenly?  Will you sweep me off my feet, or will I grab you - unable to stop myself from kissing you, hoping that you feel the same?  Will it be a goodnight kiss as you leave me at my doorstep, or will we be out walking, arm in arm through some unnamed city or town?

Most likely, it will be none of those and all of them.  A mix of all the kisses the movies have told us to expect, and all the awkward moments that real life breeds.  It will be ours.

I think I'd like it kept a secret for now; that way, I can keep dreaming of all the possibilities between now and when we meet.

<3

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Come Quickly

Dear you,

I know I've said to take your time...that you deserve that, and so do I (and I still believe that - that we're both young, and we have so much time) That when the "time is right", I'll drop my books in front of you, so to speak.  That one day, it will happen.

But lately...well, lately I've been wondering about that.
About the waiting, and having faith that one day we'll meet.  And I won't screw it up when we do - because you should know I'm good at that.  If you'd like to believe the last few years, it's what I'm best at actually.
My friends tell me that when it's you, I won't be able to screw it up - you won't care.  But that doesn't sound quite right to me.  I've screwed a lot up in my life...

Or maybe it's just not what I want to hear.  Maybe I want to hear that you're coming, because I'm starting to feel like I should buy a couple cats.

<3

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Let's Count the Hours

Dear you,

It's not that I want what I can't have, or anything like that.  I swear.
It's just that sometimes, I worry that I'm going to have to wait a long time for you.  And it seems so weird to me that one day, we'll be so in love but right now, I don't even know your name.
Maybe it's that I'm selfish...I want all the time I can get with you.  The more hours together we can add up over the years.

I guess I'll just count the hours a different way, while I wait.  I'll count the hours till I meet you.

<3

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Summer Love

Dear you,

Even though it's still cold outside most days, I can feel summer just around the corner.  We all can.
And I wonder, will we be a summer kind of love?  Will we take last minute trips at midnight to the beach, just to watch the sun rise over the ocean?  Will we have a picnic of badly made sandwiches just because, and catch fireflies in a jar at night? Will you hold my sweaty hands as the sun sets, and we walk to we don't know where because it's still too beautiful to go home?

Will we make that last?  Because I want a summer love, but I want the kind that lasts forever.

<3

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Do Opposites Attract After All?

Dear You,

Do you think we'll like the same music, the same weather, movies, food?
Will we agree on most things, and find that we always know what the other is thinking because it's what we were already thinking?

Or will it be true, that opposites attract?  Will we be different on everything we think and do, and love each other anyway?  Love the things we'd otherwise have hated, because the other loves them?

Or will it be both?  Will we collide in some aspects, finding that we're on the exact same page, and discover new things when it comes to everything else?

Never mind.  Don't answer that...I think I'd like it to be a surprise.

<3
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Blind Faith

Dear you,

 I can't remember ever having blind faith in anything - not God, not friendship, and certainly not my future.  Even as a child learning Bible verses in Catholic School, I had trouble believing in something that I couldn't see, and that nobody had any proof of.
Maybe that's because I'm so gullible in other aspects, that I require absolute proof for the things I can't touch.

I'd like to have faith though....in one nothing, if in nothing else.  I'd like to have faith in you, in the idea that one day you'll show up and you'll never walk away.

<3

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A Moment in a Crowd

Dear you,
I almost thought I met you over the weekend - just in passing, a face in the crowd.  But for a moment, it felt like it was you, as though despite having never spoken to one another, I knew that one day we'd be together.  And it would be beautiful when it finally happened.

But as he turned, feeling my gaze, I realized it wasn't you - just a man in the crowd who'd caught my attention, if only for a moment.

It was too cliche anyway... one day, when I run into you, it will be a surprise.  We will be wonderful together, and it will come as a shock in the moment I first realize it.

<3





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In a Dream

Dear you,
I dreamt of you again last night.

Maybe the you in my dream didn't look like the you I'll get to know one day, but I know it was you.
I could feel it...I could tell.

In my dream, you had to chase me.  You kissed me, and I was surprised.
One day, will you have to chase me, and will it be a surprise like it was last night?

<3    

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Let's Meditate

Dear You,
It's 4am, and I can't sleep.
I think that thoughts of you are keeping me awake, thoughts of what we'll have one day.  Maybe, when that one day comes, we'll learn together how to meditate so that thoughts can't keep us awake at night.

<3

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To a Love I Haven't Met Yet

Dear You,
One day, I'll want to share these moments with you.
These 4am panic attacks, Friday nights out, holidays, thoughts, fears, joys....
The heartbreaks that come before you.
I'll want to share my life with you, and maybe this is how I'll do it.

Maybe one day, our lives will finally cross paths, and you'll read these letters.  And when you do, you'll think of the me you never knew, and maybe you'll fall in love with her anyway.

I know we haven't met yet, and that maybe we never will because isn't that how life works sometimes; but these letters are for now.  For while we're both still waiting.

<3
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